Member-only story
“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” —Vincent Van Gogh
“I don’t know. Not very fast. I think Oprah beat me. Yes, she definitely beat my time — by over an hour. Oprah smoked me.” This is what I have to say when people ask my marathon time.
My pace could be described as — snailish plus. 5 hours and 35 minutes. I’m not sure there was a time both feet were in the air at once except for when I laid down at the end. I kind of shuffle quickly.
In short, I’m just bad at running no matter how hard I train or try. I think God created my thighs too short or something so he had more matter to build my high-drag ears with.
I never was good at it in the military and I sure don’t like it now that I’m fatter and older.
So I signed up for a marathon because years ago I learned that avoiding the experience of something just because you’ll never be very good at it is an extremely self-limiting way to experience life. It’s just no fun to look at life like that.
And you know what I learned from the marathon besides why nipple pasties were invented? That…
