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Humor
I Might Die if Cereal Boxes Keep Shrinking
Ugh! It happened again. I can’t do this anymore! I think I’m going to die with one more round of cereal box shrinkage.
I went to buy cereal last night and the boxes have shrunk…again!
They keep shrinking! Economists call this horrible situation shrinkflation. Basically, manufacturers know all us rubes care about is price, so they keep the price the same but give us less product and hope we don’t notice.
Well I noticed! Because it’s killing me…by starvation.
As a child in the 1980’s, one box of Kix lasted me a week. Not just Kix. Any cereal box from the that decade loomed large on the breakfast table high above my milk-slurping, bed-headed spoon face.
A cereal box back then stood up gloriously and said “Yes! I’m for breakfast.”
Now, I’d be lucky to find one Kick in a box of Kix. No pulse in a box of Life. Aluminum Grahams. Corn Dust. Unfortunate Charms. Fruitless Pebbles. Rice soggies and Gloomios.
They sit on my table today only a shell of what they once were. But why?
Who castrated Apple Jack?