Benjamin, this is one of the best things I have ever read. I skim through medium with all the ‘how-to’ articles (which I love and I write them as well and they can be amazing) but then I come across something like this, something much deeper. You are a gifted writer. Though I didn’t experience as much loss as you did with friends, I could relate to much of your story as I was a Marine in Iraq in early 2003. I witnessed only enemy death and very minimal action. I fortunately didn’t have any friends die. You are an inspiration to me and a great writer. There’s so much real in what you write. Keep up the great work! I’ll be following! And thanks again for sharing. (I liked the pictures of your Grandpa)